


i don't deserve you

by Winterboxx



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29019861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterboxx/pseuds/Winterboxx
Summary: How did it get like this? She should be happy. Everything was working out in life, she had the job she always dreamed of and a loving girlfriend. Though whenever she was alone, the emptiness crept in. she felt void of things at the best of times. The worst was the familiar tug of loneliness. It made no sense, she should be enjoying her life.Yet, she couldn’t. She could only look up weakly, staring up at the all too familiar ceiling that as thoughts swirled. She didn’t deserve this, it was luck that got her here. Her skill was only a figment of people’s minds. She was no better than the others and yet she’d gotten further ahead.
Relationships: Denali/Rosé (Drag Race)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	i don't deserve you

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't mean for this to come out so angsty but it did so we vibing, i wanted to write some rosnali and now that this is out of me i can go write some fluff, i hope you like the angst though :)

Deep down, Rosé knew what it meant to be self-destructive. How it would eventually end in a never-ending spiral of hopelessness and self-doubt. But that just sounded like an everyday reality now. 

How did it get like this? She should be happy. Everything was working out in life, she had the job she always dreamed of and a loving girlfriend. Though whenever she was alone, the emptiness crept in. she felt void of things at the best of times. The worst was the familiar tug of loneliness. It made no sense, she should be enjoying her life. 

Yet, she couldn’t. She could only look up weakly, staring up at the all too familiar ceiling that as thoughts swirled. She didn’t deserve this, it was luck that got her here. Her skill was only a figment of people’s minds. She was no better than the others and yet she’d gotten further ahead. 

Rosé wanted to laugh, the sheer irony of her confidence crumbling to crippling self-doubt for no real reason wasn’t lost on her. The only sound she could let out was a painfully bitter laugh. She yearned for the naive confidence that held her up. That was the act she could only hope to keep up with now. No one had noticed, faking it seemed like the best idea.

Until it wasn’t. Until she was laid blankly staring wishing for it all to end. It was stupid to blame herself but what else was there. It was her fault for letting it get to her, never seeking out help or letting herself openly be vulnerable. It was a stupid way to live but she was in too deep now.

She’d make herself presentable by the time Denali got home. She didn’t deserve a broken woman, she deserved so much more than whatever demon had taken control of Rosé and let her soul die. She wasn’t the same and yet the blonde never stopped looking at her with those deep brown eyes that made her heartache. 

The door opened and a familiar voice echoed in but she didn’t hear. Denali walked in, confused by the lack of response from her girlfriend. One glance at her distracted eyes was enough to clue her in. Rosé had very expressive eyes, it proved to be her downfall when she hadn’t prepared to bottle up her feelings. 

“Rosie? What’s wrong?” Denali started, her voice soft enough to not shock Rosé. Her hand fell on her shoulder, concern etched into her face that made her girlfriend’s stomach turn. A shrug was the only response she could muster out, looking away from Denali in a desperate attempt to not face her emotions.

“Don’t ignore me, something’s up. Talk to me, babe.” 

Rosé couldn’t hold it back, something about how genuine Denali was, breaking any fight she had to try and stay in hiding. The smaller girl enveloped her in a tight hug. She didn’t ask any more questions, just kept her company as Rosé started to let it all out. She wasn’t the crier of the two of them, Denali was always in tears whenever anything got any sort of emotional, not rosé. She was supposed to be strong, but it felt good to finally let go. 

It started slow, a few tears slipping down her cheek before the floodgates broke. Denali just held her closer, stroking her back as she let out sobs. It hurt to see her like this, but it was a long time coming, she needed someone there for her and Denali was determined to help in any way she could.

“I don’t deserve you.” Rosé’s voice was a whisper, still managing to crack with every emotion swirling in her. 

“No, you’re not listening to that, baby. You absolutely do deserve me, you’re incredible and I won't let you think otherwise.” Though her tone turned a lot more serious, it kept the softness Denali’s words always carried. Rosé dared to glance up, seeing her face so severe was painful, but it faded into a loving smile quicker than she could blink. The blonde took her face in her hands, cupping her cheeks while maintaining eye contact. 

“Rosie, listen to me. You’re worth so much more than you let yourself think. Believe me when I tell you this, please. You’re such an incredible baby, I don’t know what I'd do without you and I'm going to help you throughout whatever hurts you. I promise.”

“I can’t do this ‘Nali, I feel so useless sometimes and I don’t know why. I wish I could be happy like when you’re with me I feel good but when I’m alone I feel like I faked my way to a happy life.”

“I know it’s hard, you can’t shut out those voices so easily. But I’ll stay here, telling you how amazing you are over and over again. It’ll take time but we’ll quiet those voices, Rosie. I love you so much.” 

Denali continued to hold her close, letting Rosé mutter out words of sadness at her own pace. The crying slowed but she didn’t let go. The fluff of pink hair burrowing into her shoulder moved gradually, looking at her with a small smile.

“I’m good, I deserve the things I have, I’m loved and I love you more than anything,”

“Yes, that, absolutely that.” Denali grinned, she felt pride bubbling up at the progress. Anything was good, but Rosé affirming herself was such a good start. 

“You make me happy.” 

It was a simple sentence, one they’d uttered so many times before. But it meant more now. It was the admission that the blonde was the one person she trusted more than anything. It was the vulnerability she tried to hide let out. Denali was the catalyst she needed to help herself. It was good to have someone reminding you of your worth, it helped she was adorable and the most loving creature on earth. 

Working on herself would be hard, but with Denali, it would be that much easier.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr @winterboxx if u wanna come say hi :D


End file.
